rjmarek's blog

where have the couple lost touch with other?

Explore the relationship in terms of each dyadic contribution from their individual weaknesses.

For example, the individuals are each alpha. Each has the weakness of hating to pay attention to details. When one of them finds an outside partner that pays attention to them, they are caught in emotional or physical cheating.

Strength based

1. interaction with the environment
2. observation, aid and protection by parents
3. verbal feedback from parents that instills realization of one's strengths and weaknesses and how to use or compensate for each

It all starts with breathing. Thoughts and circumstances affect our breathing reactions. And, as CBT has taught, our behavior affects our thoughts and reactivity.

I wish to restore people to what they once were or what they could have become if not for adverse circumstances.

Nature will not be thwarted. We are born with this trait of over processing of stimulation. It is my job to manage the reactions of being sensitive to overstimulation, the automatic reprocessing of perceptions.

It is noted by Aron and others that a good upbringing allows more integration of stimulation responses, whereas contradictory parenting has a negative influence, perpetuating itself in a negative cast to a Highly-Sensitive-Person perception of experience and memory.

Breathing is affected by how we are thinking. I’ve noticed the focus breathing allows box breathing to happen naturally.

Patient Aphorism: Excited for the future; calm about what you do.

This refers to an underlying division of labor of the cerebral hemispheres.

The Right Hemisphere is focused on in situ, that is, what is happening here, there and everywhere, where should we go for a better life? What are the dangers? The pitfalls and the promises. Be excited, be ramped up. Let your energy flow. Feel good, feel concerned for the future.

Panic and lesser forms of anxiety are fairly constant in the majority of HSP patients who take to therapy. The changes in tolerating overload of sensation occur over weeks and months. The changes occur in the habit of improved relaxation in more circumstances that were formerly panic inducing. Examples have been work stress, where the HSP has assumed more responsibility for discord than is warranted. Why? Because the HSP assumes that if he or she had acted differently the stressors would not have occurred.

Cells use nitric oxide to self destruct. The 8 sinus cavities generate nitric oxide as a free radical of 5 seconds duration. It has various health benefits (when done through nasal breathing) including viricide and bactericide, and especially smooth muscle dilation. Is it plausible that the relaxed state of breathing nasally would somehow strengthen the individual cells against the internal sensitivity to nitric oxide.

The education needed for the highly sensitive person is to openly, freely accept their limitations in a completely neutral manner and to develop a potential and the skills in excellence. It is a combination of both of these things that enables a person to achieve health.

Noted in HSP and Therapy book, the right hemisphere is preferentially active with HSP as a general finding. The left hemisphere is more useful for carrying out and improving learned activity while the hemisphere of choice for the HSP is the right hemisphere, which focuses on opportunity, gains and pitfalls.

By definition the HSP will eschew anger situations and crowd mentality, as it will get overstimulated. The HSP needs a perch to survey the scene in order to choose where the danger lies and where opportunity is better.

Abundance of each gives the star quality. Serotonin abundance enables the individual to look past obstacles to acquiring happiness and self directed goals. Not to be influenced by detractors and other obstacles.

The Highly Sensitive Person looks to inner experiences when viewing the world, through comparisons with other experiences rather than explore the objective qualities.

Social worker here, for perspective, what if the patient said instead, "Dr So&So is incompetent?" Your first reaction would be, probably, not to go on the defensive (to be "anti-derogatory,") We would probably say something positive about the person. We want our colleagues to succeed, as we want our people to get better.

Been thinking about hemispheric specialization and the highly sensitive person. As the good physician noted, the west has been overwhelmed by what he calls the left brain functioning. Maybe, but the regular appearance of the HSP at 10 to 20 % indicates that the race of humanity keeps pace with technology and professionalism.

What is the utility of social gratitude? What is social gratitude?
It is the answer to an ingrained denial of feeling of helplessness. It is a result of a carefully orchestrated, perfectly timed intervention of energy and substance that lifts the individual mindset into functioning on his or her own behalf.

It is not gratitude to the individual who initiates the intervention, but it is the mindset of the client that is open to possibilities of interaction in a broader world view.

Good question, it is the practice that may give you freedom to think about alternative ways to act and do better. Stress is mind numbing, but the regular practice of mindfulness, several times a day, is better than not doing it. It is like exercise. If we don't exercise or practice we don't get good at a skill. Mindfulness is a skill and it takes practice even when we don't want to do it. The value of mindfulness lies in it becoming a skill that can be used when the pressure is on.

The utter simplicity of seeing an object denotes a presence that registers and instantly reveals a value. Likewise for the sense of touch, the immediacy connotates a meaning, a place of being.

The sensory input of perception of emotion maps a value instantly.

These lead to a true perception of reality and are reality.

Value is implicit in perception and fear is a cross wiring that can be practiced out of.

What is my purpose, what are my responsibilities?

For we are caring creatures, we see needs and feel the need deeply.

Our purpose is to protect people; reflecting on our own deepest wish to be protected reveals our purpose. Our deepest desire, once it envelopes in its sphere of action the greater neighborhood of our community becomes our purpose in life.

Anger is a reaction resulting from the interruption of our established and intended modes of acting. Anger has a two fold purpose, it is meant to prevent the action from happening again and, secondly, to educate the offender into behaving in conformity to our will in the future.'

100 % rule - given and observed by each partner. You (speaking to one of the partners), You are 100% responsible for the marriage. let that sink in. Regardless of how the other person acts, you are responsible for the well being and safe keeping of the marriage (relationship.)

To the other partner, YOU are 100% responsible for the relationship. You repair it even if it is not your fault. There is no action that you do not try to make good. You do not depend on the other to make it good.

From Wikipedia

Not to passivity, not to nirvana, not from anger.

And we do this, not for conformity, but to enable each person to have better control of their world; invariably, this control involves cooperation, community and enhanced self empowerment.

By being calm we perceive opportunities, see another's point of view and develop mutually satisfying outcomes. Also, perception of danger will be enhanced.

Sadness is the anomaly of a hole, something missing that was there. Sadness is allowed as the realization of what changed in the landscape of our lives.

Sad is ok. Sad is a framework that introduces new awareness. Sadness means we are aware and alive. Sadness is part of seeing, sensing and otherwise navigating our world. It allows us to function in every day life and negotiate the hole of what was a landmark of stability. Sad is not trauma!

How should we measure social work intervention? It must be based on the level of community elicited and engendered. Is the client more connected socially after the intervention of the social worker.

Our brain is the means to interact with the world. We discern what is relevant and form actions to become more efficient in dealing with what is relevant.

The right brain encompasses the whole of experience while the left hemisphere of the brain focuses narrowly on utility, getting things done. Clinically, then, to help the client make changes in behavior, we have to present new material for consideration, which will be scrutinized by the Right hemisphere. If the material is sufficiently powerful it will sway the Left hemisphere in a new and congruent path that will incorporate the Right hemisphere's recognition of the value of the material we presented to the client.

Strange thought. Was having a discussion with wife and grown children about us and most people getting a sense of something about to occur and then it turned out to happen. Being that I am of a certain age, the thought occurred to me that this is the universal consciousness of Jung and others. Rupert Sheldrake talks about the nearly unerring ability of some animal pets to know when their owners will do something.

What are the physical concomitants that ground the emotional health treatment we do? There are at least two areas of study and utility:
1. breathing and nitric oxide
2. Brain laterality

How do we learn?

A fundamental question that includes: "How do we teach new skills?"

How do we "Feed" the right brain?

To observe what is, we must not be afraid, if we are afraid, we are already in a need for action.

The desire to dominate is not power but less irritability and therefore willingness to pursue goals. Affective neuoscientists see the continuity of emotions through the connection of animals to man.

See: Panksepp, Affective neuroscience

see 42.17 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZYQpge1W5s

As experimental inquiry ongoing with youth. Trust human potential to derive operational truth from experience; and, in friendship, share truth ungrudgingly with one another. The truth is that it is easy to antagonize some people and people lie, it is good to have friends.
These simple truths each generation needs to learn.